Back again :)

So I am writing after a long long time
I have been thinking of writing down for the past two months I suppose.. .and I have a long list of things in my mind to write about.. let’s see if I remember all that and am able to write it down

** Added later : All three blog posts are not about the topics on which i wanted to write so my list is still pending and will be completed in November ; I have promised it to myself

Open Book is not cheating

The thought of writing this blog came to my mind while I was writing my last exam today ;
There were discussions going on in class while examination was going on and the school teacher shouted back : “Cheating ke liye kitaabein de to di hai, aur kya chiaye ”(You have books ; what else do you need to cheat)
And I wanted to write on this topic at that very moment ; which is this that open book examination is not cheating ;
People have this tendency to smirk and reply back “oh Its an open book exam “ and what is the benefit of examination if you are provided with books ; and I completely fail to understand why people still live in the world where examination equals memory power ;
Examination is to examine whether you posses the knowledge or the right skill ; and whether you have understood the subject by heart ; so in life whenever you encounter any such thing ; how will you react ; and to the best of my knowledge I think books only help us in proving that yes we know it right ;
Critics of Open book forget that in practical life you are provided with best of all the resources you wish to access;
What is required is a thorough understanding of subject ; concept ; logical flow and the correct aptitude towards the subject and not how well we are able to memorize the words in book and produce it back ;
There is nothing wrong with referring to a book and mind you after giving four exams I can bet in saying that you cannot afford to study the book for the first time in exam ; you can only take advantage of an open book examination if you have thoroughly gone through the book ; know what is the flow of thoughts and contents by your own index not by the book’s .
Teachers who set the paper are not fools. They realize the difference and hence the paper;
Yes you are a bit more relaxed ; less pressurized as you know the book is with you ; and your creativity while writing long essays goes for a toss as you always think that the book has better answers :P

My first semseter again :)

So Semester ends and I am a happy happy soul today.

It’s such a relief when you realize that your exams are done and you enjoy some break ;

Today while coming back from my exam centre I thought of writing down my entire first semester experience which has been amazingly wonderful till now.

Studying after a long time has been fun and hectic. Although my close friends would not agree on the fun part because they know how much I bug them just before the exam night when I know nothing and panic bug settles inside.

So studying again after a sabbatical of exact two years has been associated with a lot of enthusiasm ; brimming excitement to meet new people ; and then I almost overflow with joy at times realizing that after the end of this course I would be awarded with an MS degree ;

Practically I don’t have much expectations from this degree as such or what this degree does to my CV but had I not been doing this course I would have crossed two more years of my life ; value adding nothing to my life so I am more than happy adding something to my life ;

First Day:

So I have missed the most fun part of my course which is that my classes are held at India Habitat Centre, Lodi road J Ye YE

Well I started writing about IHC and it seems it is material for a separate blog post which you can find here.

So I reached the place with slight nervousness ; enthusiasm brimming to meet new people and the joy of starting something new in my life; First day was just a inaugural session and my joy doubled when I realized the constitution of my class;

I think that is with any post graduation course ; my batch has people varying from different backgrounds : software engineers to civil engineers ; engineers to academia ; top class executives to one year experienced ; from Army colonels to Writers ; from Chartered Accountants to speakers;

The batch is rich in content; in experience and most of all in people :)

It becomes a lively session during the classes when there are discussions going around; people interpret things according to their experience and ask questions;

So overall I am enjoying the course; loving visiting IHC ; relishing food at Eatopia ; and basking in the glory that I am doing MS :P except that examinations get too hectic ; Have to give 4 exams in two days and at those precise moments of despair and panic I wonder why on earth did I join this course ;

IHC My new Love :)

The Place is just Awesome and whenever I visit the place I fall in love with the place again and again , all over :)

It’s so damn calm; serene ; soothing and gives you such a nice feel ;

This blog is about IHC : the place which I am visiting too often these days :)

As I enter there are colorful fountains on both the sides which are operated in the evening only; there are tall long trees giving a peaceful aura which make you love the place;

The place is an architectural marvel ; even in months of July when you pass the centre of IHC a cool breeze welcomes you ; and you feel so refreshed ;

IHC is one of the reasons that I long to attend my classes apart from the fact that I enjoy half of my sessions and sleep through half of them :P

There is a nice amphitheatre just in front of my building ; the one where Rang De Basanti was shot and on weekends (just the precise time when I have my classes )there are plays and play rehearsals going on;SO sometimes in the evening claas the background music of play flows into our years and I get excited to get down and have a look;

Another attraction is Eatopia : the food court where we lunch and gossip and share information about each other ;

There is a lotus pond with big red fish inside just outside the Stein Auditorium;

You can sit quietly on one of stairs ; or anywhere in the compound and silently do anything ; observe people ; write some stuff ; paint ; do poetry ; chat with friends or just sit silently with your counterpart ; or may be do nothing ;

There is American Diners on the other side where the elite are either entering into marital bliss or getting engaged and you can be a mute spectator to the pretty females walking around clad in designer lehengas and sarees

There are exhibitions going around ; art photography ; everything

Life becomes so relaxed and at leisure when you enter IHC ; Life outside is running at a different pace ; at a pace where everyone is running blindly and does not have time for himself lest for anything else and as I enter IHC time seems to stop for me

I want to just sit there; be a part of the building and stand still; be a silent observer to everything.

I wonder.....

I wonder whether my present will serve as some inputs to my tomorrow...
I wonder whether my today will contribute in my purpose for life...
I wonder whether I am wasting time and may be i will have to begin agresh again....
I wonder for how long will it go...
I wonder for how long will I be able to hold on....
Life seems drab... and a questionmark....

There are times when life is hectic...You just hop along the life's path.....

You just immerse yourself in the work... keep going the way life expects you to....
There are times when you don't think before doing and don't relate things to the purpose of your life... Just keep on doing stuff.. because you are expected to...
You associate your daily routine to be your life's objectives and keep on doing the chores without thinking.....

And suddenly in a moment of loneliness you reflect upon life's course and at that moment precisely panic sets in.

Sometimes I realize that I am running away from things in my life by just being busy and by giving excuses to being busy in work so that I dont have time alone and I dont have to face myself alone....

Loneliness is scary and gets scarier when you are realize that the things which you are doing are not related to your purpose in life or at Worst you dont know what is the purpose in life...

I have met and heard my other freinds speaking so....
And I conclude that we all pass this phase in life... and One day we all will read these pages of my blog as some memories... reflect upon these times and feel mature ; proud and satisfied :)

**Well these are some lineswhich I just felt like writing.... this blog is not edited... You might find some thought process missing... The are just random thoughts...

ऐसे ही...

तुझसे नाराज़ नहीं ज़िन्दगी, हैरान हूँ मैं
ओ हैरान हूँ मैं....
तेरे मासूम सवालों से परेशान हूँ मैं
ओ परेशान हूँ मैं....

जीने के लिए सोचा ही न था, दर्द संभालने होंगे
मुस्कुराऊँ तो, मुस्कुराने के क़र्ज़ उतारने होंगे
मुस्कुराऊँ कभी तो लगता है....
जैसे होंतोंं पे क़र्ज़ रखा है
तुझसे ...

आज अगर भर ई है, बूँदें बरस जायेंगी
कल क्या पता इनके लिए आखें तरस जाएँगी
जाने कहाँ गम कहाँ खोया
एक आंसू छुपके रखा था
तुझसे ...

ज़िन्दगी तेरे गम ने हमें रिश्ते नए समझाये
मिले जो हमें धुप मैं मिले छाँव के ठंडे साए

White Waters.........

Friend : Rafting – ke liye chalegi ?

Self : Hmm… wow Rafting… company..kaun kaun jaa raha hai

F : Team ke log hain… personal banega…chalna ho to btaa diyo….

S : Hmm sochti hun… shayad mushkil hoga…

This was the exact conversation between me and a friend through whom I could go for rafting. It was group of 36 people out of whom I barely knew 7 of us. And it took a lot of convincing and coercing amongst all of us to actually make this trip happen.

Before I start my drooling over the trip-fun let me give you slight details as to what exactly we did.

We went to haridwar via train ; Hired our own bus towards byasi ; we had our tents there ; we begin rafting from this place till rishikesh and returned back to byasi via bus again. Had bonfire in the night. Rock-climbing and Rappelling, the next morning. Water splashing till afternoon. Lunch at rishikesh and back to haridwar and then to delhi.

The trip was fun. Awesome!

Amazingly thrilling and wonderful.

The best experience I could ever have.

One of the best weekends spent.

The place was amazingly serene and calm. The water in river-ganga did some magic to me. I anyway love water and was thrilled with the idea of water surrounding me throughout. Right from The moment I entered Byasi where our tents were I was mesmerized by the serene calm water flowing just where I was staying. I was overwhelmed with the clean green water flowing in front of my eyes. The feeling cannot be expressed in terms of words. The experience is just beyond expression of words.

The scene is so vividly etched in my memory. It is difficult to describe the exhilaration that my heartfelt at the scene present.

When the actual rafting began my heart pounded with excitement and with each wave splashing at us, my heart leaped with joy. As the raft would go down and I would see the wave coming at us, I literally trembled with sheer excitement.

We would come down the raft and float in water and feel weightless; enjoy the sun; enjoy the water and have the fun of floating.

And the most adventurous part of the rafting trip was cliff jumping in the end. So there was this 25-30 ft high cliff and we had to jump off the cliff and hit the river on sole discretion of gravity. This part is actually beyond description of words. The Brief moment when I was mustering courage to jump off was probably the only moment in my life mixed with excitement ; fear and courage as well.

The moment I led myself lose in the river; my brain screamed as to what I had done and this is the end. For the two seconds in which I dived into water I felt exhilarated and extremely joyous at the mere sight that I am all surrounded with water and I am inside the river.

Those few moments cut from the outside world and where you could actually relate yourself to the sheer excitement of the moment will always remain memorable.

Ahh ! I have already started missing them.

Another experience was the time in Night. The star studded sky with more than half moon ; no other source of light ; huge mountains that seemed like two infinite caves to me(sounds scary and funny both ) ; sound of river splashing against the rocks ; tides slowly increasing the river level ; the water in river flashing against the moonlight ; and wet cool sand below your feet ; the dampness and coolness in the air and I enjoyed this panorama of nature while I was lying down on the wet sand just beneath the star-studded sky.

Memorable.

The next day with friends in the river was equally fun. Splashing water at each other --to be precise the victim was me: all of them splashed and pushed me in the river and revengefully I splashed the sand because that seemed to be the only defense weapon available that time.

This trip was amazing and awesome for many reasons.

Nature – its beauty;
Water – its magic;
Rafting – the experience;
cliff jumping – the thrill;
Friends – their company;
Trip— The Adventure;
All this gives Life -- A new perspective.

The Privileged Few:

This thought came to my mind while I was returning from Delhi to Noida. Most of the thoughts either come to me while I am reading something or travelling; may be because when you are travelling you are in your most blank state of mind and things come and strike you. The simple blank reality just hits you on your face.

So Bright Lazy Reluctant Monday Morning and I have to go to Noida from my home.

Usually when you wake up, your mind is terse from the upcoming tensions in the day; you are thinking about office ; There are so many topics for us to crib about :promotions ; biases ; recession ; traffic ; money management ; Savings ; Future ;Career ; and all sorts keep on revolving in your mind and they somehow usually come to me on Monday mornings. I do not know about others but this is the way it is for me. Travelling from Delhi to Noida is a 1.25 hour drive and it gives me ample amount of time to think about my life; its course and where I am heading next. I know it is a bad way to begin your week but this is the truth.

Sometimes while rushing out of my home; I also happen to glance at the newspaper and sometimes (do remember it’s only sometimes) thinking about how politicians manipulate everything to their advantage and benefit.
About Communalism.
About religion wars.
About Country Economy .
About Inflation.
About Crime. ( Don’t be terrified. I do this thinking sometimes).

And when my thinking has almost reached to the level where panic can set inside me ; we cross ISBT.

And we cross these beggars (must be some 200 in number) lined up with their rags thinking of arranging their daily diet. And I am slapped with the stark reality of life. I feel ashamed at the contrast.

Here we are who have some fixed amount of money to reach us and there they are who don’t even know if they will have their diet today or not. I observe them and try to think as to what would have happened in their life that they are in this state. There are so many of them; some waking up ; some still wrapped up in their old torn dirty blankets (in hot summer mornings as well). Hair Shabby. Some of them don’t seem to even make an attempt to wake up and find , arrange for a meal.

And I wonder at the contrast in my life and their life.

And I wonder at the political scenario where politicians are fighting for religion ; religious structure demolishment .

They force me to think what religion these beggars have and how important is religion to them and how would it make any difference if they belonged to any specific religion.

All of this forces me to think who the privileged is or the un-privileged few?
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Missing-Musings

I miss you Delhi. I miss the roads, the paths and the familiar ways,
I miss my friends; those hot summer afternoons and those long days.
I miss my family .I miss the familiar corners of my home,
And then I want to shrink and be alone.
I miss the travel although it was hectic,
At least then the contents of my life were eclectic.
I do have friends here; love the way I can spend my time in hobbies,
But amidst all of them I am suddenly filled with nostalgia and memories.
I have moved out; will continue to move away …
But the way to Delhi: my home would remain the most familiar way.

Love you Delhi

About Life....The busy life....

Looong break.

Ah well not exactly a break but I could not get a break to write this.
So lot of activities have been keeping me pre-occupied: The office Activities ; some personal work going along ; then there was this rishikesh trip ; then a trip with family to Madhya Pradesh and then as soon as I returned I had 2 back to back presentations in office and then there is this upcoming Dance competition in office which has been keeping me hugely busy. Also there was this college best friend wedding to attend.

But I have promised myself that I will be regular in writing blog from now on ; also keeping in touch with old friends and family members as well… Also for long I have not been reading books so avidly as I used to and I promised this as well. I would paint. I would chat and gossip with old friends. May be meet a few of them.
Lets see If I can keep up these promises I made to myself.

And why do you think that I have suddenly jotted down this list of promises: I have been getting busier and busier in work schedule and in my own life and in the process I Have un-knowingly ignored people who mattered to me a lot and who still matter to me but I just do not remember calling them.

Life does go on becoming like that. Is it just with me or is it that everyone tends to follow the same pattern or is it the way people “move-on” in life. When I think of the last option, it does leave me alone with a lot of sadness around me and then I want to shrink in my own core. And I want to give a sincere try to feel and reason otherwise so the list of promises. I have also set-up calendar reminders for the same.
:)

Let’s see if I am able to reason out with myself.
And If you are one of those who have been victim of my un-intentional ignorance; friends I still love you and miss you and would soon catch up with you again. I have not moved on from you guys.

Peace.

“Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.”

“It's so lonely when you don't even know yourself.”

Long period of silence …. And now I feel like writing again…. So there has been too much of activity or may be inactivity in my life in this year… and past two months have taught me so much about life; responsibilities; courage; expectations; world behavior; politics around you ; and stuff like that ; The heavy words of life which we normally used in essays and could hear in abundance from our elders/parents could be experiences thyself. No NO…this is not a depressing blog or documentary on responsibilities for that matter but just a reflection of my thought process which I have undergone.

In general I have always felt that the time after colleges is the time in a person’s life when everyone feels lonely at a point of time. Especially moving out of your home to another place makes you realize the loneliness ; Past 4 weeks , I felt so bugged up with work and stuff going in my life that sometimes I just felt like closing my eyes to everything; become deaf; dumb; blind and just close myself from the outside world.

Things just seem dull, drab and boring. Life seemed to have stopped. Not that I am being a dull person with no activity around me; have been watching all latest movie flicks; listening to good music and also continue to have fun from my dance classes and meeting up people around me but still everything seemed to fall in a dull routine; and at the end of the day you fell lonelier than ever.

SO I work hard in day; get tired and go home to sleep but contrary to normal eco-system rules; my mind runs inversely proportional to the physical stamina of my body. Meaning which the more tired I am in the day the more I get prone to insomnia in the night. And I lie all wide awake with my eyes wide open and my mind running in all directions with the speed of light.

But curiously, I have spoken to some more friends of mine and they have shared the same sentiments about loneliness. That life becomes dead after some time and you have to start living it all over again and it is just a phase of life which will pass away sooner or later.

But the important thing during the entire stretch is not forgetting to live the moment which you have and always being on a lookout for ways to live life. SO despite the fact that I have felt lonelier and cut-off from world (because of several reasons); have had my first rendezvous with independent loneliness, I have learnt to maximize every fun opportunity I have got. And the bonus point is this that you always come out being more mature and stronger than the person you were.

So this blog is not for cribbing about loneliness but to tell my friends that you are not alone there in your spree of loneliness. 

“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.”

A Date with Rock...

This Wednesday was my date with turquoise cottage.

So here I towed with a friend of mine who is a huge TC fan; and whenever I used to refer to TC she was just gaga over the place; And I used to wonder what is so special about this bar; To me all bars and pubs are the same: Dark and dingy with people jostling for space; huge noise and overcrowded places with smoke flowing around.

But still I went to this place just to have a feel of what is different.
So I enter and find my way upstairs to a semi-lit room with tables neatly arranged on one side(Found it quite unlike many bars and pubs where you are served on couches) .The décor gives a feeling as if you are sitting in some 80’s bar. Old guitars and pickle cans arranged on top. Entire furnishing being wooden. An old bike lying in the corner with stools beside to enjoy the place. I forgot to have a picture clicked there 

It is spacious, has Easier access to the bar, and bigger dance-floor, and with elegant civilized crowd inside. And the best part of it: it’s Music. Its music is unlike the metallic loud music in other bars but nice rock music which penetrates you and makes you feel lighter. The music is not which you enjoy if you have a good mood but it is the music which makes your mood great.
I was not a rock music fan before it but TC made me love it.

I am not into drinking but I certainly like the place for its ambience and music. The people seemed nice; non-interfering rather non-bothering. You come; enjoy the music and shake a leg at the melodious hip-hop rock playing; have something nice (the cuisine is oriental)and then leave all Ye Ye.


I want to come again TC.

January 2009

Life teaches you so many lessons in one go…
And probably the time which life chooses to teach you hard lessons is the time of transitions in your life.

I have been a part of huge transitions in my life; sometimes actively involved and sometimes passively dragged. And it is not just my own life. Am seeing people around me; of my age;… who have been undergoing similar phases in their lives.
And I realize this is the most crucial and important part of our lives when we learn to take decisions. We are suppose to take decisions which will affect our entire lives: our entire course of career; and probably our future.

With few incidents happening with people around me; I have learnt many lessons….
Probably I cannot list out all of them but the most important thing I realized was this that you should not be so dependent on anyone that if the person leaves you cannot stand on your own. It hurts. It still hurts to realize this conclusion and that you should not be relying on the most reliable person of my life. Isn’t it ironical?

Another lesson which still pinches my heart is this that circumstances can play such an important role in your life. They can be so powerful. They are still very powerful. They can ruin and change anyone’s life. You have to bend against them. They are superior.

The things which your are afraid of your entire life ; there is not a remote chance that you won’t face it; you will have to face it sooner or later. You should not or you cannot try doing it. There is nothing in this world which you should not be scared of.

And that the people whom you think are your friends may or may not be your friends. They may be your friends but totally incapable of handling your situation and that does not make them a lesser friend. And then you have to learn to maintain you trust in them and still move on with your life Alone….
And that whatsoever may come; you should always keep doors open for new friends to move in and take responsibility of your lives.