ऐसे ही...

तुझसे नाराज़ नहीं ज़िन्दगी, हैरान हूँ मैं
ओ हैरान हूँ मैं....
तेरे मासूम सवालों से परेशान हूँ मैं
ओ परेशान हूँ मैं....

जीने के लिए सोचा ही न था, दर्द संभालने होंगे
मुस्कुराऊँ तो, मुस्कुराने के क़र्ज़ उतारने होंगे
मुस्कुराऊँ कभी तो लगता है....
जैसे होंतोंं पे क़र्ज़ रखा है
तुझसे ...

आज अगर भर ई है, बूँदें बरस जायेंगी
कल क्या पता इनके लिए आखें तरस जाएँगी
जाने कहाँ गम कहाँ खोया
एक आंसू छुपके रखा था
तुझसे ...

ज़िन्दगी तेरे गम ने हमें रिश्ते नए समझाये
मिले जो हमें धुप मैं मिले छाँव के ठंडे साए

White Waters.........

Friend : Rafting – ke liye chalegi ?

Self : Hmm… wow Rafting… company..kaun kaun jaa raha hai

F : Team ke log hain… personal banega…chalna ho to btaa diyo….

S : Hmm sochti hun… shayad mushkil hoga…

This was the exact conversation between me and a friend through whom I could go for rafting. It was group of 36 people out of whom I barely knew 7 of us. And it took a lot of convincing and coercing amongst all of us to actually make this trip happen.

Before I start my drooling over the trip-fun let me give you slight details as to what exactly we did.

We went to haridwar via train ; Hired our own bus towards byasi ; we had our tents there ; we begin rafting from this place till rishikesh and returned back to byasi via bus again. Had bonfire in the night. Rock-climbing and Rappelling, the next morning. Water splashing till afternoon. Lunch at rishikesh and back to haridwar and then to delhi.

The trip was fun. Awesome!

Amazingly thrilling and wonderful.

The best experience I could ever have.

One of the best weekends spent.

The place was amazingly serene and calm. The water in river-ganga did some magic to me. I anyway love water and was thrilled with the idea of water surrounding me throughout. Right from The moment I entered Byasi where our tents were I was mesmerized by the serene calm water flowing just where I was staying. I was overwhelmed with the clean green water flowing in front of my eyes. The feeling cannot be expressed in terms of words. The experience is just beyond expression of words.

The scene is so vividly etched in my memory. It is difficult to describe the exhilaration that my heartfelt at the scene present.

When the actual rafting began my heart pounded with excitement and with each wave splashing at us, my heart leaped with joy. As the raft would go down and I would see the wave coming at us, I literally trembled with sheer excitement.

We would come down the raft and float in water and feel weightless; enjoy the sun; enjoy the water and have the fun of floating.

And the most adventurous part of the rafting trip was cliff jumping in the end. So there was this 25-30 ft high cliff and we had to jump off the cliff and hit the river on sole discretion of gravity. This part is actually beyond description of words. The Brief moment when I was mustering courage to jump off was probably the only moment in my life mixed with excitement ; fear and courage as well.

The moment I led myself lose in the river; my brain screamed as to what I had done and this is the end. For the two seconds in which I dived into water I felt exhilarated and extremely joyous at the mere sight that I am all surrounded with water and I am inside the river.

Those few moments cut from the outside world and where you could actually relate yourself to the sheer excitement of the moment will always remain memorable.

Ahh ! I have already started missing them.

Another experience was the time in Night. The star studded sky with more than half moon ; no other source of light ; huge mountains that seemed like two infinite caves to me(sounds scary and funny both ) ; sound of river splashing against the rocks ; tides slowly increasing the river level ; the water in river flashing against the moonlight ; and wet cool sand below your feet ; the dampness and coolness in the air and I enjoyed this panorama of nature while I was lying down on the wet sand just beneath the star-studded sky.

Memorable.

The next day with friends in the river was equally fun. Splashing water at each other --to be precise the victim was me: all of them splashed and pushed me in the river and revengefully I splashed the sand because that seemed to be the only defense weapon available that time.

This trip was amazing and awesome for many reasons.

Nature – its beauty;
Water – its magic;
Rafting – the experience;
cliff jumping – the thrill;
Friends – their company;
Trip— The Adventure;
All this gives Life -- A new perspective.

The Privileged Few:

This thought came to my mind while I was returning from Delhi to Noida. Most of the thoughts either come to me while I am reading something or travelling; may be because when you are travelling you are in your most blank state of mind and things come and strike you. The simple blank reality just hits you on your face.

So Bright Lazy Reluctant Monday Morning and I have to go to Noida from my home.

Usually when you wake up, your mind is terse from the upcoming tensions in the day; you are thinking about office ; There are so many topics for us to crib about :promotions ; biases ; recession ; traffic ; money management ; Savings ; Future ;Career ; and all sorts keep on revolving in your mind and they somehow usually come to me on Monday mornings. I do not know about others but this is the way it is for me. Travelling from Delhi to Noida is a 1.25 hour drive and it gives me ample amount of time to think about my life; its course and where I am heading next. I know it is a bad way to begin your week but this is the truth.

Sometimes while rushing out of my home; I also happen to glance at the newspaper and sometimes (do remember it’s only sometimes) thinking about how politicians manipulate everything to their advantage and benefit.
About Communalism.
About religion wars.
About Country Economy .
About Inflation.
About Crime. ( Don’t be terrified. I do this thinking sometimes).

And when my thinking has almost reached to the level where panic can set inside me ; we cross ISBT.

And we cross these beggars (must be some 200 in number) lined up with their rags thinking of arranging their daily diet. And I am slapped with the stark reality of life. I feel ashamed at the contrast.

Here we are who have some fixed amount of money to reach us and there they are who don’t even know if they will have their diet today or not. I observe them and try to think as to what would have happened in their life that they are in this state. There are so many of them; some waking up ; some still wrapped up in their old torn dirty blankets (in hot summer mornings as well). Hair Shabby. Some of them don’t seem to even make an attempt to wake up and find , arrange for a meal.

And I wonder at the contrast in my life and their life.

And I wonder at the political scenario where politicians are fighting for religion ; religious structure demolishment .

They force me to think what religion these beggars have and how important is religion to them and how would it make any difference if they belonged to any specific religion.

All of this forces me to think who the privileged is or the un-privileged few?
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Missing-Musings

I miss you Delhi. I miss the roads, the paths and the familiar ways,
I miss my friends; those hot summer afternoons and those long days.
I miss my family .I miss the familiar corners of my home,
And then I want to shrink and be alone.
I miss the travel although it was hectic,
At least then the contents of my life were eclectic.
I do have friends here; love the way I can spend my time in hobbies,
But amidst all of them I am suddenly filled with nostalgia and memories.
I have moved out; will continue to move away …
But the way to Delhi: my home would remain the most familiar way.

Love you Delhi

About Life....The busy life....

Looong break.

Ah well not exactly a break but I could not get a break to write this.
So lot of activities have been keeping me pre-occupied: The office Activities ; some personal work going along ; then there was this rishikesh trip ; then a trip with family to Madhya Pradesh and then as soon as I returned I had 2 back to back presentations in office and then there is this upcoming Dance competition in office which has been keeping me hugely busy. Also there was this college best friend wedding to attend.

But I have promised myself that I will be regular in writing blog from now on ; also keeping in touch with old friends and family members as well… Also for long I have not been reading books so avidly as I used to and I promised this as well. I would paint. I would chat and gossip with old friends. May be meet a few of them.
Lets see If I can keep up these promises I made to myself.

And why do you think that I have suddenly jotted down this list of promises: I have been getting busier and busier in work schedule and in my own life and in the process I Have un-knowingly ignored people who mattered to me a lot and who still matter to me but I just do not remember calling them.

Life does go on becoming like that. Is it just with me or is it that everyone tends to follow the same pattern or is it the way people “move-on” in life. When I think of the last option, it does leave me alone with a lot of sadness around me and then I want to shrink in my own core. And I want to give a sincere try to feel and reason otherwise so the list of promises. I have also set-up calendar reminders for the same.
:)

Let’s see if I am able to reason out with myself.
And If you are one of those who have been victim of my un-intentional ignorance; friends I still love you and miss you and would soon catch up with you again. I have not moved on from you guys.

Peace.