“It's so lonely when you don't even know yourself.”
Long period of silence …. And now I feel like writing again…. So there has been too much of activity or may be inactivity in my life in this year… and past two months have taught me so much about life; responsibilities; courage; expectations; world behavior; politics around you ; and stuff like that ; The heavy words of life which we normally used in essays and could hear in abundance from our elders/parents could be experiences thyself. No NO…this is not a depressing blog or documentary on responsibilities for that matter but just a reflection of my thought process which I have undergone.
In general I have always felt that the time after colleges is the time in a person’s life when everyone feels lonely at a point of time. Especially moving out of your home to another place makes you realize the loneliness ; Past 4 weeks , I felt so bugged up with work and stuff going in my life that sometimes I just felt like closing my eyes to everything; become deaf; dumb; blind and just close myself from the outside world.
Things just seem dull, drab and boring. Life seemed to have stopped. Not that I am being a dull person with no activity around me; have been watching all latest movie flicks; listening to good music and also continue to have fun from my dance classes and meeting up people around me but still everything seemed to fall in a dull routine; and at the end of the day you fell lonelier than ever.
SO I work hard in day; get tired and go home to sleep but contrary to normal eco-system rules; my mind runs inversely proportional to the physical stamina of my body. Meaning which the more tired I am in the day the more I get prone to insomnia in the night. And I lie all wide awake with my eyes wide open and my mind running in all directions with the speed of light.
But curiously, I have spoken to some more friends of mine and they have shared the same sentiments about loneliness. That life becomes dead after some time and you have to start living it all over again and it is just a phase of life which will pass away sooner or later.
But the important thing during the entire stretch is not forgetting to live the moment which you have and always being on a lookout for ways to live life. SO despite the fact that I have felt lonelier and cut-off from world (because of several reasons); have had my first rendezvous with independent loneliness, I have learnt to maximize every fun opportunity I have got. And the bonus point is this that you always come out being more mature and stronger than the person you were.
So this blog is not for cribbing about loneliness but to tell my friends that you are not alone there in your spree of loneliness.
“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.”
Tuesday, March 10
Monday, January 26
A Date with Rock...
This Wednesday was my date with turquoise cottage.
So here I towed with a friend of mine who is a huge TC fan; and whenever I used to refer to TC she was just gaga over the place; And I used to wonder what is so special about this bar; To me all bars and pubs are the same: Dark and dingy with people jostling for space; huge noise and overcrowded places with smoke flowing around.
But still I went to this place just to have a feel of what is different.
So I enter and find my way upstairs to a semi-lit room with tables neatly arranged on one side(Found it quite unlike many bars and pubs where you are served on couches) .The décor gives a feeling as if you are sitting in some 80’s bar. Old guitars and pickle cans arranged on top. Entire furnishing being wooden. An old bike lying in the corner with stools beside to enjoy the place. I forgot to have a picture clicked there
It is spacious, has Easier access to the bar, and bigger dance-floor, and with elegant civilized crowd inside. And the best part of it: it’s Music. Its music is unlike the metallic loud music in other bars but nice rock music which penetrates you and makes you feel lighter. The music is not which you enjoy if you have a good mood but it is the music which makes your mood great.
I was not a rock music fan before it but TC made me love it.
I am not into drinking but I certainly like the place for its ambience and music. The people seemed nice; non-interfering rather non-bothering. You come; enjoy the music and shake a leg at the melodious hip-hop rock playing; have something nice (the cuisine is oriental)and then leave all Ye Ye.
I want to come again TC.
So here I towed with a friend of mine who is a huge TC fan; and whenever I used to refer to TC she was just gaga over the place; And I used to wonder what is so special about this bar; To me all bars and pubs are the same: Dark and dingy with people jostling for space; huge noise and overcrowded places with smoke flowing around.
But still I went to this place just to have a feel of what is different.
So I enter and find my way upstairs to a semi-lit room with tables neatly arranged on one side(Found it quite unlike many bars and pubs where you are served on couches) .The décor gives a feeling as if you are sitting in some 80’s bar. Old guitars and pickle cans arranged on top. Entire furnishing being wooden. An old bike lying in the corner with stools beside to enjoy the place. I forgot to have a picture clicked there
It is spacious, has Easier access to the bar, and bigger dance-floor, and with elegant civilized crowd inside. And the best part of it: it’s Music. Its music is unlike the metallic loud music in other bars but nice rock music which penetrates you and makes you feel lighter. The music is not which you enjoy if you have a good mood but it is the music which makes your mood great.
I was not a rock music fan before it but TC made me love it.
I am not into drinking but I certainly like the place for its ambience and music. The people seemed nice; non-interfering rather non-bothering. You come; enjoy the music and shake a leg at the melodious hip-hop rock playing; have something nice (the cuisine is oriental)and then leave all Ye Ye.
I want to come again TC.
Saturday, January 24
January 2009
Life teaches you so many lessons in one go…
And probably the time which life chooses to teach you hard lessons is the time of transitions in your life.
I have been a part of huge transitions in my life; sometimes actively involved and sometimes passively dragged. And it is not just my own life. Am seeing people around me; of my age;… who have been undergoing similar phases in their lives.
And I realize this is the most crucial and important part of our lives when we learn to take decisions. We are suppose to take decisions which will affect our entire lives: our entire course of career; and probably our future.
With few incidents happening with people around me; I have learnt many lessons….
Probably I cannot list out all of them but the most important thing I realized was this that you should not be so dependent on anyone that if the person leaves you cannot stand on your own. It hurts. It still hurts to realize this conclusion and that you should not be relying on the most reliable person of my life. Isn’t it ironical?
Another lesson which still pinches my heart is this that circumstances can play such an important role in your life. They can be so powerful. They are still very powerful. They can ruin and change anyone’s life. You have to bend against them. They are superior.
The things which your are afraid of your entire life ; there is not a remote chance that you won’t face it; you will have to face it sooner or later. You should not or you cannot try doing it. There is nothing in this world which you should not be scared of.
And that the people whom you think are your friends may or may not be your friends. They may be your friends but totally incapable of handling your situation and that does not make them a lesser friend. And then you have to learn to maintain you trust in them and still move on with your life Alone….
And that whatsoever may come; you should always keep doors open for new friends to move in and take responsibility of your lives.
And probably the time which life chooses to teach you hard lessons is the time of transitions in your life.
I have been a part of huge transitions in my life; sometimes actively involved and sometimes passively dragged. And it is not just my own life. Am seeing people around me; of my age;… who have been undergoing similar phases in their lives.
And I realize this is the most crucial and important part of our lives when we learn to take decisions. We are suppose to take decisions which will affect our entire lives: our entire course of career; and probably our future.
With few incidents happening with people around me; I have learnt many lessons….
Probably I cannot list out all of them but the most important thing I realized was this that you should not be so dependent on anyone that if the person leaves you cannot stand on your own. It hurts. It still hurts to realize this conclusion and that you should not be relying on the most reliable person of my life. Isn’t it ironical?
Another lesson which still pinches my heart is this that circumstances can play such an important role in your life. They can be so powerful. They are still very powerful. They can ruin and change anyone’s life. You have to bend against them. They are superior.
The things which your are afraid of your entire life ; there is not a remote chance that you won’t face it; you will have to face it sooner or later. You should not or you cannot try doing it. There is nothing in this world which you should not be scared of.
And that the people whom you think are your friends may or may not be your friends. They may be your friends but totally incapable of handling your situation and that does not make them a lesser friend. And then you have to learn to maintain you trust in them and still move on with your life Alone….
And that whatsoever may come; you should always keep doors open for new friends to move in and take responsibility of your lives.
Thursday, December 18
We are just small pieces of puzzle in his BIG jigsaw................
So back to some serious blogging after a long spell of light blogging…
It begins like this …. There are so many transitions going in your life… so much to account for …so much for being responsible… so much for being in Twenties….
SO how has Life changed for you after you turned twenty…? Might not have changed much for many of US but I am sure there is still a considerable bunch of people who will agree to what I say.
Some of us have actually experienced a lot… Some of us have actually seen a lot… Life has been an ugly roller coaster ride for some of us… It might have been a beautiful one as well…for some….
It is at this time of my life when I reflect upon the incidents and happenings in the past one and a half year …. I realize how different life was …. And how different life is …NOW…
I feel we were much happier when we were in college… when our future was still indecisive… there was nothing to worry about…
WE are supposed to get a direction to our lives once we settle with our jobs… but ironically things just reverse…. Your life just becomes more difficult… you feel more directionless… you should have some plan and goal in your life (How the hell are you supposed to have when you thought that your job will decide your goal)…
You should not waste any time in your life after that because those years are crucial to your careers… And the additional burden for the female gender… Where the parents think it is their duty to kick the daughters out after 2 years of work experience… (Oops for the wrong tone of the language… But it is true)
I think the entire problem begins when you start thinking or to put it correct “Expecting from life”. Till the point we left our life to our destiny with the best possible opportunity God bestowed on us .. We were happy in whatever we got but the moment we start taking control of our lives … things go haywire… then we enjoyed things…
Because we with our limited thinking can only think of few possible scenarios in life which we think will make our life successful… But God has bigger plans for everyone… We fit in his big schemes without even realizing …
If we did not decide for our life till now; who are we to decide what is good or what is bad for us… who are we to judge about our life’s happiness.
We are just small pieces of puzzle in his BIG jigsaw.
And he has plans for all of us. And I am sure…that although some of us are not happy with the turn of things in their lives but some years down the line … they will have a different opinion.
Best Wishes to all of us!!
It begins like this …. There are so many transitions going in your life… so much to account for …so much for being responsible… so much for being in Twenties….
SO how has Life changed for you after you turned twenty…? Might not have changed much for many of US but I am sure there is still a considerable bunch of people who will agree to what I say.
Some of us have actually experienced a lot… Some of us have actually seen a lot… Life has been an ugly roller coaster ride for some of us… It might have been a beautiful one as well…for some….
It is at this time of my life when I reflect upon the incidents and happenings in the past one and a half year …. I realize how different life was …. And how different life is …NOW…
I feel we were much happier when we were in college… when our future was still indecisive… there was nothing to worry about…
WE are supposed to get a direction to our lives once we settle with our jobs… but ironically things just reverse…. Your life just becomes more difficult… you feel more directionless… you should have some plan and goal in your life (How the hell are you supposed to have when you thought that your job will decide your goal)…
You should not waste any time in your life after that because those years are crucial to your careers… And the additional burden for the female gender… Where the parents think it is their duty to kick the daughters out after 2 years of work experience… (Oops for the wrong tone of the language… But it is true)
I think the entire problem begins when you start thinking or to put it correct “Expecting from life”. Till the point we left our life to our destiny with the best possible opportunity God bestowed on us .. We were happy in whatever we got but the moment we start taking control of our lives … things go haywire… then we enjoyed things…
Because we with our limited thinking can only think of few possible scenarios in life which we think will make our life successful… But God has bigger plans for everyone… We fit in his big schemes without even realizing …
If we did not decide for our life till now; who are we to decide what is good or what is bad for us… who are we to judge about our life’s happiness.
We are just small pieces of puzzle in his BIG jigsaw.
And he has plans for all of us. And I am sure…that although some of us are not happy with the turn of things in their lives but some years down the line … they will have a different opinion.
Best Wishes to all of us!!
I watch them daily…
They come in bunch.. they are running individually as well… some are rushing with their faces contorted in the distant memory of their course syllabi… few are just as merry and gay as if it’s just another day…
Some are accompanied with frenzied friends who are revising every part of syllabi with some paper or notebook in hand… few see it as chance to bungle with the uniform…
They look so cute and decent with double braids … bright red ribbons in them … red check uniform…. Blue sweaters….
So Before you start wondering on whom I am pondering so much… here is the clue….
As I stand waiting for the car in the morning; I see these kids going to the school… and I notice their face expressions … their hands… their walk ….
It is not supposed to be a full blown post …. But just few observations of these kids. I think they are having their exams these days and observing them while they are rushing for their exams is enriching :)
And reminds me of my own school days….
I miss school so much :(
Sunday, December 14
I may not be a lady.....
Apt to the reason for this blog...Impressions... Here is a tribute to the woman ... around all of us....
These are the lyrics of a song.... by Lisa Stansfield.. "All Woman"
He's home again from another day
She smiles at him as hewalks through the door
She wonders if it will be Okay
It's hard for her when he doesn't respond
He says babe you look a mess
You look dowdy in that dress
It's just not like it used to be
Then she says:
"I may not be a lady
But I'm All Woman
From Monday to Sunday
I workharder than you know
I'm no classy lady
But I'm All Woman
And this woman needs a little
love to make her strong
You're not the only one"
She stands there and lets the tears flow
The tears that she's been holding back so long
She wonders where did all the loving go
The love they used to share when they were strong
She says:"Yes I look a mess
But I don't love you any less
I thought you always thought enough of me
I may not be a lady
But I'm All Woman
From Monday to Sunday I work my fingers to the bone
I'm no classy lady
But I'm All Woman
And this woman needs a little love to make her strong
You're not the only one"
He holds her and hangs his head in shame
He doesn't see her like he used to do
He's too wrapped up in working for his pay
He hasn't seen the pain he's put her through
Attention that he paid
Just vanished in the haze
He remembers how it used to be
When he used to say:
"You'll always be a lady'Cause You're All Woman
From Monday to Sunday
I love you much more than you know
You're a classy lady'Cause You're All Woman
This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm"
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
These are the lyrics of a song.... by Lisa Stansfield.. "All Woman"
He's home again from another day
She smiles at him as hewalks through the door
She wonders if it will be Okay
It's hard for her when he doesn't respond
He says babe you look a mess
You look dowdy in that dress
It's just not like it used to be
Then she says:
"I may not be a lady
But I'm All Woman
From Monday to Sunday
I workharder than you know
I'm no classy lady
But I'm All Woman
And this woman needs a little
love to make her strong
You're not the only one"
She stands there and lets the tears flow
The tears that she's been holding back so long
She wonders where did all the loving go
The love they used to share when they were strong
She says:"Yes I look a mess
But I don't love you any less
I thought you always thought enough of me
I may not be a lady
But I'm All Woman
From Monday to Sunday I work my fingers to the bone
I'm no classy lady
But I'm All Woman
And this woman needs a little love to make her strong
You're not the only one"
He holds her and hangs his head in shame
He doesn't see her like he used to do
He's too wrapped up in working for his pay
He hasn't seen the pain he's put her through
Attention that he paid
Just vanished in the haze
He remembers how it used to be
When he used to say:
"You'll always be a lady'Cause You're All Woman
From Monday to Sunday
I love you much more than you know
You're a classy lady'Cause You're All Woman
This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm"
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
...so how cum I reminded of this suddenly... Well apart from the dedication to all women... this blog is also dedicated to a very dear friend of mine ... who sent this song to me... AM not in a mood to elaborate on the occasion when I got this song but anyhow... Thanks for that day :)...You know who you are :)
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