“It's so lonely when you don't even know yourself.”
Long period of silence …. And now I feel like writing again…. So there has been too much of activity or may be inactivity in my life in this year… and past two months have taught me so much about life; responsibilities; courage; expectations; world behavior; politics around you ; and stuff like that ; The heavy words of life which we normally used in essays and could hear in abundance from our elders/parents could be experiences thyself. No NO…this is not a depressing blog or documentary on responsibilities for that matter but just a reflection of my thought process which I have undergone.
In general I have always felt that the time after colleges is the time in a person’s life when everyone feels lonely at a point of time. Especially moving out of your home to another place makes you realize the loneliness ; Past 4 weeks , I felt so bugged up with work and stuff going in my life that sometimes I just felt like closing my eyes to everything; become deaf; dumb; blind and just close myself from the outside world.
Things just seem dull, drab and boring. Life seemed to have stopped. Not that I am being a dull person with no activity around me; have been watching all latest movie flicks; listening to good music and also continue to have fun from my dance classes and meeting up people around me but still everything seemed to fall in a dull routine; and at the end of the day you fell lonelier than ever.
SO I work hard in day; get tired and go home to sleep but contrary to normal eco-system rules; my mind runs inversely proportional to the physical stamina of my body. Meaning which the more tired I am in the day the more I get prone to insomnia in the night. And I lie all wide awake with my eyes wide open and my mind running in all directions with the speed of light.
But curiously, I have spoken to some more friends of mine and they have shared the same sentiments about loneliness. That life becomes dead after some time and you have to start living it all over again and it is just a phase of life which will pass away sooner or later.
But the important thing during the entire stretch is not forgetting to live the moment which you have and always being on a lookout for ways to live life. SO despite the fact that I have felt lonelier and cut-off from world (because of several reasons); have had my first rendezvous with independent loneliness, I have learnt to maximize every fun opportunity I have got. And the bonus point is this that you always come out being more mature and stronger than the person you were.
So this blog is not for cribbing about loneliness but to tell my friends that you are not alone there in your spree of loneliness.
“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.”
